


For ME?

by BloodFrost



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), kylux - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Armitage Hux - Freeform, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Domestic Fluff, Doubt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Fear, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Mush, Fluffy Ending, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gentle Kissing, Gentleness, Hurt/Comfort, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, In Love, Kissing, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylux - Freeform, LGBTQ Themes, Living Together, Love, M/M, Mushy, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Gestures, Same Sex Relationship, Self-Doubt, Short & Sweet, Short Story, Soft Kylux, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Freeform, Starkiller Base, Sweet, The First Order, The Force Awakens, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, space boyfriends, supreme leader snoke - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 00:19:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12618852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodFrost/pseuds/BloodFrost
Summary: Late nights, unusual tiredness, suspicious explanations.Lately it seems as though Kylo Ren's boyfriend, Armitage Hux, is a different person. He's much busier than usual on Starkiller Base, and seems to have less time for Kylo than ever.Eventually, the fear works its way into Kylo's mind: maybe Hux isn't busy with work.Maybe he's busy with somebody else.





	For ME?

Kylo sat in the mostly-dark room, closing his eyes, trying to focus.

Meditation was a big part of his daily rituals, although, just lately, he had hit a mental snag in this most important of routines.

Moving into the same quarters as his boyfriend, Hux, had been one of the best decisions Kylo had ever made. But it was difficult, at first, trying to mesh together two lives, two personalities that had been alone for so long.

And it wasn't particularly helpful that Hux's quarters were quite small.

Not that Kylo's wouldn't have been, as well, had they chosen to cohabitate in his. It was standard fare for Officers, and Hux and Kylo, despite their elevated ranks, were no exception to this rule.

Everything was essentially located on top of each other, in a line. Front door, living room, kitchen, bedroom, refresher. 

When he had first moved in, he and Hux had faced somewhat of a challenge, trying to neatly and effectively arrange Kylo's numerous personal items together with Hux's own. They had had several fights over placement, and more than once, one man or the other had had to walk out and cool his head.

Still, despite the difficulties of the situation, Kylo was quite happy with his life, and his relationship with Hux. They had been living together for 6 months, now, and everything was going smoothly.

At least, it HAD been.

In truth, Kylo wasn't sure what to think about what was going on between him and the orderly redhead. These past few weeks, something was different between them, and Kylo couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Hux was out much later than usual, far past the usual times of his meetings or drills. When Kylo would inquire as to either his lateness or his whereabouts, the answers Hux gave him were vague and somewhat defensive. Their sex life, which had always been extremely active, had fallen to the wayside as of late. 

And Hux closed the door on him.

This had always been an unspoken rule of their relationship; no closed doors. Ever. Closed doors meant hiding, and secrets, and those two things weren't allowed with them.

But lately when Hux was home, he'd go into the bedroom and _close the door_. He claimed it was because he was working on his data pad, holding holo-conferences with his officers, and needed uninterrupted quiet; but Kylo didn't think that this was actually the case. The door being open had never 'bothered' him, before, after all.

The logical part of Kylo's mind reasoned that Hux was always bombarded with work, and was likely just over-tired with all he had to do. Kylo knew that feeling; he experienced that overwhelming sense of being crushed, and losing time, with Snoke.

And Hux's (and his own) increased busyness wasn't exactly unfounded, either. Several areas on base were undergoing extensive physical and personnel renovations, creating new challenges and tasks for the both of them.

But the louder, irrational side of him was worried, and no matter what Kylo told himself, that part of him would not remain quiet.

What if the reason Hux was late so often, and gone so much more than usual--what if it was because he was seeing somebody else?

Kylo didn't want to think that, but it was nonetheless a possibility he forced himself to consider. 

Kylo's sense of self-esteem, his sense of his own personal worth, was severely lagging. He was constantly full of doubt, and fear that he wasn't 'good enough'. He wasn't 'good enough' for his family; not 'good enough' for Snoke, and maybe, just maybe, he had become not good enough for Hux.

And if that was the case, if Hux had in some way come to regard him as such, Kylo could not and did not blame him. He had never quite understood what Hux saw in him, to begin with. 

By his own estimation, Kylo Ren was awful, in many ways. 

Loud. Arrogant. Stubborn. Temperamental. _Messy_. 

And Hux, was everything that he could ever want, or dream of, in a partner.

Smart. _Handsome_. Educated in everything from languages to food to the arts to weapons technologies.

He deserved so much better than Kylo Ren. And Kylo often felt that, if he didn't think it would kill him, he should stop being selfish and let Hux go.

But maybe he wouldn't have to make that choice.

Maybe Hux was going to let him go, first.

All these thoughts and more went galloping through Kylo's mind, making it difficult for him to find his center, and relax. 

_Focus, focus, focus_ , he chanted to himself, taking deep, soothing breaths. 

At some point, his eyes closed, he could feel a heated vibration coming towards him, walking down the hall. The vision was familiar, as was the gait. It paused in front of he door, punching in an access code, before stepping inside.

Hux walked in quickly and took off his coat, shaking it out by the door before hanging it up. Little bits of ice and snow fell to the ground, swiftly melting in the heat of the room.

Kylo opened his eyes, and forced a smile.

"You're home," he said, softly. "I didn't expect you for another hour, yet."

Hux shrugged and sat down in a chair opposite him, pulling off his boots. "Finished sooner than I expected," he said, grunting as he wrestled the objects from his feet.

He looked at Kylo and noticed, for the first time, the darkness of the room, and the thick blue-gray incense smoke wafting through the air.

"Oh, I'm sorry; did I interrupt your meditation?"

He stood up. "I'll go in the bedroom, give you some privacy."

But Kylo shook his head and stood up as well. "No, it's okay, I was about done, anyway."

He went to Hux and put his arms around him, then pulled back with a frown.

"Maker--your skin, it's like ice!", he exclaimed. "Were you outside?"

"Um, no," Hux said, somewhat nervously. He walked around Kylo and into the bedroom. "I, uh, had to go down to maintenance, to assess some water damage in one of the storage rooms. It's freezing down there."

Kylo followed him in, and sat on the bed, watching Hux change into warmer clothes. Slowly, reluctantly, he said, "But your coat had a little snow on it, when you came in. Your boots, too."

Hux turned and went into the refresher. He left the door open, and Kylo watched his reflection in the mirror.

"Oh. That. Well I DID go outside, but only for a few seconds."

He began to wash his face, the hot water sending up steam to coat the mirror. Kylo waited a few moments, then walked in and sat on the edge of the tub.

"For what?"

Hux groped a towel from the cabinet and began drying his face.

"Excuse me?"

"For what? You went outside, a few seconds, for what?"

There was a long pause, and Kylo could practically see the wheels churning in Hux's mind as he tried to come up with an answer.

"Shortcut, to Sector 22-S," he finally said. "Maintenance was doing work in the connecting hallway between 21 and 24; it was quicker to walk outside and around.

Kylo looked at Hux for a long time, but didn't comment on what he had said. He merely nodded and said, "Are you hungry? I made some stew earlier."

Hux smiled, seemingly relieved that Kylo hadn't called him out on his story, and said, 

"That sounds good, 'Lo. I'll go warm us up some.", he said, heading for the door. He stopped halfway there and looked back at Kylo.

"You--ARE eating with me, aren't you?"

Kylo shook his head. "I ate earlier. But I'll be happy to come sit by you, while you eat."

Hux smiled again, and this time it was more natural. "I'd like that," he said, somewhat shyly. There was so much raw, unabashed love and devotion in his gaze that Kylo was momentarily confused, as to why he had felt suspicious in the first place.

 _You've been working too hard lately. Stress is making you jump at shadows,_ he thought to himself. To Hux, he said, 

"I'm just going to use the 'fresher, and I'll be right there."

He waited until Hux had left, and sat down on the edge of the bed, reprimanding himself for mistrusting Hux. There was always an explanation for everything, and he and Hux had never had an issue with communication before. In fact, Hux was the one individual in his life that Kylo felt he could talk to, _truly_ talk to, about anything.

Anything at all.

He was about to go and join him, to talk to him, when he looked over and noticed that Hux's shirt, the one he had been wearing when he came home, had fallen out of the hamper.

He went to pick it up, but as he touched it, he froze, frowning. In his shock, he dropped the garment to the floor.

Maker.

Was he imagining this?

He picked the shirt back up and sniffed it, again, deeper this time. There was no mistaking it; it was imbued with a very subtle but very much THERE flowery scent, like--like perfume.

Like a _lady's_ perfume.

He stood there for what seemed like an eternity, clutching the shirt, his mind pulling into a thousand directions at once.

"Kylo?", Hux yelled from the other room, pulling him out of his trance, "Are you coming?"

He dropped the shirt back to the floor, and walked with a heavy heart, and heavier feet, to join Hux for dinner.

\---  
Kylo walked down the hallway towards his office. On the Finalizer, he had his own office, just as Hux and the other officers did. But Kylo's office was mostly a formality; he rarely used it for its intended purpose. Mostly he went in there because it was warm, and quiet, giving him the chance to calm himself before moving on to the more challenging aspects of his day.

Today he was especially stressed out. Two of his Knights, Keo and Kintu, had returned from missions, and had held a meeting with him and Snoke as to what they had accomplished.

Kintu had done well; she had managed to wrest control of the Artusian system from the families that controlled it, and gain control of the primary planets for The First Order. Snoke had given her warm praise, and details on the next assignment he was sending her on.

But Keo was different. He was the youngest of Kylo's knights, and could often be quite immature. He had damaged several of the First Order's ships and lost a heavy number of soldiers during his quest, and had failed to gain control of the one planet he had been trying to conquer.

Snoke had bawled him out fiercely, then kept Kylo with him for an additional hour, berating him on Keo's failure, and lecturing him on how he needed to have better control of his Knights.

Kylo had just left that meeting, tired, and with a mild headache. He headed to his on-ship office to gain some quiet, to regroup.

When he got to his door he paused, looking down the hallway. Hux's office was at the very end of the hall, and, although Hux couldn't see HIM, Kylo could see Hux, standing at his door and talking to somebody.

A woman somebody.

Although she was turned opposite him, Kylo knew who it was. Lieutenant Arla, a woman who had joined the first Order a few months ago, and was quickly promoted through the ranks because of her leadership abilities and previous military experience. She was young, and sweet, and very, very pretty.

As Kylo watched, Hux actually leaned down and hugged this woman to him, tightly, and kissed her cheek.

Kylo, not wanting to see anymore, quickly walked into his office and leaned against his door, feeling weak in the legs.

Was that-- her?

Was she the reason for Hux's odd behavior, as of late?

 _No,_ , he told himself, with a vicious shake of the head, _She just, she must have done something for Hux, and he was thanking her. That's all._

Other people do things for Hux, too; but I've never once seen him thank anybody with a hug and a cheek kiss, is what he answered himself.

He glanced out the window of the door, and noticed she was coming down the hall. He took a deep breath and stepped outside of his door, intercepting her path.

"Good afternoon, Lieutenant Arla," he said calmly, in his mechanized voice.

"Good afternoon, my Lord," she said, bowing her head with a smile.

"I wonder if you might have time to assist me?"

"Of course," she said, eagerly. He put his hand on her arm and guided her gently into his office.

Kylo pulled off his helmet, slowly. The woman's eyes went wide; she was new enough to the point where she had not yet seen him without the facial armor, as the other officers had.

He took advantage of her temporarily shocked state to step closer. 

"This is a bit embarrassing, I'm  
afraid. Earlier today, I mistakenly ate some pula-fish. I'm afraid I'm mildly allergic to pula-fish. I can't see; can you look and tell me if my face or neck has broken out, in some way?"

"O-of course," she said, somewhat unsteadily. She leaned close to him and began examining his face, being careful not to make eye contact with him. When she began inspecting his neck, Kylo closed his eyes and took a deep whiff.

Her perfume--it matched the scent on Hux's coat, from the other night.

She leaned back up--and jumped, a bit, at the change in his facial expression. He realized what she must be seeing, and quickly put back on his other, 'friendly' look. 

"There, uh, there's nothing there, m-my Lord."

He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, noting with mild amusement how she seemed to cringe from his touch.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. You may go."

She turned and quickly left the room, nearly walking into a chair in her hurry to leave.

Kylo sat down with a dull thump in his own chair, and put his head down on his desk.

What was he going to do, about this? It wasn't his imagination.

He had SEEN Hux hugging this woman, and kissing her cheek; and now, he had discovered where the scent on his clothes came from.

What was he going to _do_ , about this?

It was in this period of resting and thinking that Hux came walking past the door, arms buried underneath his usual load of papers.

He did a double-take upon seeing Kylo actually in his office, sans helmet, and appearing as though he was physically ill.

"Kylo?", he asked softly, coming up to him. He set his papers on Kylo's desk. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

Kylo sat up straighter, taking the hunch from his shoulders.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine. Just--I'm just a little tired."

Hux leaned over him and put a hand against his forehead, worried.

"Are you sure? You look a bit sick."

Kylo jerked away from Hux's hand and growled, more sharply than he intended, "I'm _fine_ , I said."

He stood up and looked at the clock on the wall. 

"I've got to go. I have training with Snoke in 10 minutes", he said, turning and walking to the door.

"Kylo?

"Yes?

Hux opened his mouth once, twice, trying to say something. But the look on Kylo's face was one he recognized. It clearly told him that Kylo was angry about something, and needed to be left alone to work through the issue.

Eventually he sighed, and just shook his head.

"Feel better," he mumbled softly, before picking his papers back up. "I'll see you later."

\---

"I have something I want to show you."

Kylo barely looked up when Hux spoke. When Hux came in, he had been laying in bed, staring listlessly at the ceiling. He felt tired, and depressed, and wasn't prepared to deal with anything or anyone at the moment.

Especially not Hux.

"Can it wait?", Kylo asked, turning around and facing the wall.

Hux sat beside him on the bed, his green eyes searching over Kylo's still form with mild unease.

"Are you not feeling well, again?", he asked, his voice full of concern. He put a hand on Kylo's shoulder and rubbed gently. Kylo wanted very badly to lean into his touch, to take comfort from this man that he loved more than life itself, but he just couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Hux embracing that woman.

And it hurt.

And for once in his life, he was completely and unequivocally unsure of how to deal with this problem, this very real possibility of Hux's infidelity.

Perhaps the bigger problem was that Kylo did not KNOW how to deal with problems, or pain, in a healthy manner. After all, his reaction to the one major disturbance of his life had been to run away.

Away from his mother, his father, Luke, his Jedi ambitions, his entire LIFE. Anything and everything that he had once been, back when he still held the mantle of Ben Solo, he had run from.

But, no matter how hurt he was now, or how angry, he didn't feel that he was strong enough to run away from Hux.

Hux was the one person who made him feel like himself, even when he wasn't quite sure who 'himself' WAS. The one he could tell things to, things that he had never told anyone before.

The one he never had to hide from.

With everyone else, he was known as and expected to be Lord Kylo Ren.

Descendant of Darth Vader.

Strong, powerful, enigmatic. A leader.

Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke, Master of the Knights of Ren.

Enforcer. Destructor. Murderer.

Sometimes Kylo felt he would snap under the weight of the burden he had to carry. And Snoke sensed this, this abhorrent weakness of spirit within him. Sensed it and worked tirelessly to correct it.

But with Hux--

With Hux, Kylo could _breathe._  
He could smile.  
He could laugh.

He could be silly. He could be sad. He could be happy, he could be angry, he could be sick, he could be funny.

He could, simply, **be**.

And he wasn't prepared for the possibility that he might have to give up everything he had found within Hux, that he needed.

He didn't think he could steady his heart, against the threat of such an unbearable loss.

"Please, 'Lo, get up and come with me? What I want to show you might make you feel better."

He stood and looked expectantly down at Kylo, who had turned back around, facing him.

Hux held out his hand towards him, a hopeful smile on his face.

Kylo sighed, and took it.

\---

"How far are we going, anyway?", Kylo asked Hux irritably.

Hux just smiled and readied the controls. They were in Hux's personal ship, and Kylo sat in the co-pilots seat, frowning.

"Just relax; we'll be there soon enough," Hux said over the roar of the engine, as they took off into the sky.

In no time at all, they landed in a small field, just outside the outermost west region of the base. 

Hux got out, and coaxed Kylo out as well.

"This is what you wanted to show me? Grass?", Kylo asked, looking around in confusion.

Hux didn't answer. Instead, he shook his head and grabbed Kylo's hand, squeezing it tightly. 

"We're taking a little walk," he told him, and began dragging him towards the direction of the sunset.

Kylo just sighed and walked along beside him, still holding Hux's hand despite how much it pained him to do so.

About 10 minutes later, they came upon a clearing in the field. In the clearing was a house, of some sort. It was a lovely tan color, with black-lined shutters. Large, shining windows looked out on them. 

"Are we here to visit someone?", Kylo asked, thoroughly confused.

"You could say that," Hux answered, a grin on his face.

He opened the front door and stepped inside, pulling Kylo with him.

Immediately, a small, black puppy ran up to them, scratching excitedly at Hux's boots.

Hux grinned and picked the dog up, kissing its nose.

"Kylo, this is Mila. Mila, this is Kylo, the one I've been telling you about."

The puppy gave a happy yelp and struggled out of Hux's arms, and into Kylo's. He licked all over the knight's face, and Kylo couldn't help but chuckle at its enthusiasm.

"You're always saying that we should get a pet," Hux said, reaching over to scratch Mila behind the ear. "What do you think of this one?"

"I love her," Kylo answered truthfully, gently hugging the warm little bundle to him. "But Hux, you're always saying that we can't have a dog in our place, it's too small."

Hux sighed and took the dog from Kylo, placing it back on the floor. It scampered away, it's tags jingling in its wake.

"You're right, you're right; our place IS too small."

Now he turned to Kylo, with a smile tugging at his lips, and said, slyly,

"But THIS place, is certainly big enough for a pet. Don't you think so?"

Kylo searched Hux's face, trying to understand what he meant.

"Well, yes, but--"

"I've been thinking for a long time, that we need bigger quarters. So I talked to Snoke and procured this house us. What do you think?"

"What?!"

"I'm afraid it's not as distanced from the base as I'd have liked, but naturally Snoke didn't want us that far away. But this is pretty decent, regardless."

Kylo looked around in amazement, not entirely sure that he wasn't back home, dreaming.

When he didn't say anything, Hux said, anxiously,

"It would have been done sooner, but I had one of the spare bedrooms converted into a meditation chamber for you, and THAT took some time. But I thought, it'd be helpful if you had a private place, and not have to be in the living room where you can hear all the outside noises."

"O- _one_ of the spare bedrooms?", Kylo uttered, still feeling frozen with shock.

Hux nodded. "There's 3 altogether, including your meditation chamber. The kitchen is much bigger, too, as well as the 'fresher. There's an attic I'm thinking of converting into an office, so I can work a little more from home, and a basement. I thought maybe we could extend that into a small physical training area for you, to use when it's too nasty or cold to be outdoors."

Kylo walked slowly around the living room, gingerly touching the plush, beautiful furniture that Hux had already moved in here. The colors were a tranquil deep blue, Kylo's favorite hue. The floors were polished hardwood, with soft carpeting underneath the sofa and chairs. It was open, and airy, in a way their current place was not. The lighting, everything was just so tastefully done that Kylo couldn't believe his eyes.

"I hope you don't mind; I've had to do a lot of sneaking around, to keep this a surprise for you. And Arla was a huge help, as well."

"Lieutenant Arla?", Kylo asked, surprised.

Hux nodded. "Before she came here, her job was as court decorator to a family of the nobility in the Mid-Rim system. I wanted to make sure this place looked perfect; everything you deserve. She's been helping me, after hours, fix this place up."

Such a strong flood of relief pushed through Kylo's chest that he became weak with it. He sat down, heavily, in a chair, his hand on his heart.

"'Lo? Kylo? What's the matter?!", Hux asked, panicked on seeing Kylo react as such. He knelt beside him, taking his hands. "Are you sick?"

Kylo threw his arms around Hux's neck, embracing him as hard as he could.

"I can't believe this," he whispered. "You did all this for me? For ME?"

Hux hugged him back just as hard, and Kylo could feel that he was smiling. 

"Why are you saying that? For you? Of course, for you. You give me so much, every single day. This," he said, one arm gesturing around, "Is some small reciprocal for that."

He leaned in and gave Kylo a very gentle, teasing kiss on the lips.

"I know I don't say this very much, but, I love you, Kylo. You're my everything, and I'm so thankful that we're together."

Kylo hugged him fiercely, again, before standing and pulling Hux back up to his feet.

"Give me the tour!", he said, eagerly.

So they walked, hand in hand, exploring through their new home.


End file.
